Love's in the air

I've been having the craziest week! Like...ahhhh! I've cried, I screamed, I've been pushed to my limit, but it's a good kind of crazy...I guess? I mean yeah yesterday we unexpectedly marched and did drill for 5 hours and I got yelled at and called maggot and every name under the sun...but after I came home and cried (hysterically of course, not really seriously crying) about it for 2 hours, I pulled myself together . Thank God for Morgan. She laid on the floor with me until I was ready to move lol. I had exams Monday, which freaked me out but I did awesome. Something that did really bother me yesterday was after we did drill; our training officer told us we picked a horrible time to become firefighters. They’re cutting 500 firefighters in Toronto, and Saint John might be losing as many as 40. Everywhere that I thought was hiring, isn’t anymore. I was heartbroken yesterday. I found something that I love, and that God favours and I know I have to pursue it, so that might mean moving to where I can get work. It’s funny, since I’ve finished my on the job training, I feel like I’m missing something. I want to go back to saving people. I’m craving to save. So as much as I’ve been fighting to stay in Fredericton for the past 3 years, and I cry just thinking about leaving because I know I’m not done here, I may have to back away for a little bit. It breaks my heart. Unless God really wants me here, He better put a job opening somewhere soon or else it’s Iqaluit in the spring. It’s a test I know it haha! I’m just starting to learn to trust Him. It’s been tough, but I’ve made a commitment, and now it’s time to follow through. So this week=’s, NUTS! I’m learning a lot though. My patience is running a little thin. So between no job opportunities and family issues, I’ve been stressing myself out. Today I came home and was on the couch again until Morgan told me to get up and go out. Thank God. But I came to a revelation today! I’ve been crazy excited for fall, and I have no idea why. God’s going to do something awesome. I had a picture of my fall surrounding one word but I didn’t know exactly what that word was but today I figured it out. Romance. I’ve never been the romantic type, which I find odd, but lately I’ve been just captivated and I just want to love love and be romanced! I want to be in awe, and be shown love in new ways. God’s definitely been showing me more what love is, but he’s about ready to show me and teach me about true love, I know it. So this fall, I want to waltz with God! I want to be shown true love. I want to be romanced! I want to become a romantic. I want romantic fall moments with God, how cute would that be?! I think in finding romance, I’ll be more inspired and be more creative. So let’s fall in love this fall :)! Why not! Could be fun! Instead of worrying about all the stress of my life at the moment, I just want to be swept away. I’m starting to sound like a romantic already.